Friday, 28 August 2009

The clock keeps ticking and I'm still late.

Some things are genetic, that is true. The brown eyes I have are my dads, his brown eyes were his mothers. We don't know whos eyes she had though, she was adopted.

With that in mind, and me forever worshipping Amanda Palmer ("Runs in the family" has been inspiring this train of thought) I wonder what else is inside of me, making me tick like clockwork. Why are the cogs in my brain turning the way they are, how are they turning, and are the different from your cogs. Punctuality, for example, is that inhereited? My father is infamously late for every and any event, major or not. So am I. Time tables and deadlines are problematic.

But why? I'm allergic to things, why was that in my genetic code? When I look around the lunch room at school, I see the cliques, and sometimes I can see the train of thought going on in each individual. At least I think I can. I can tell by peoples eyes whos holding it together, who hasn't had life beat them with a metaphorical big stick, who's happy, and who hasn't had a fucked up thought process like this. I can see the insane and the sane, and I'm usually right about them.

Today in History I was thoroughly freaked out, because I began to remember happier (unhappier, depending on the month) times with an old friend. The memories were pictures in my head, and then I wondered, if I'm using the eyes my dad genetically passed on to me to stare mindlessly at my teacher, then how on earth am I viewing this in my head?

"Well obviously Kristy, it is the brain, your memories are stored, along with your imagination to picture this altogether. "

Thank you condescending noggin' but that answer isn't good enough for me. I want to know HOW this is happening. I want to know why, and I want to know the ins and outs of the cinema that my head seems to have. I want to embrace the fact I have no idea what my brain is, and it's bizarre, because THIS IS MY BRAIN TALKING. The outer is just a shell, protecting the grey, mooshy overlord in the skull. How can you be something and not have a clue what you are ?

So what parts of my DNA were taken from my mum and my dad to develop my brain right now. What aspects did I get. Are my crap social skills from my mum, or is that me? am I completely my own person, was my brain just a canvas, or was this built in me.

Oh questions, questions, questions.

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